Our recent discussion of FLOW leads me through free association to the metaphor of whitewater, introduced by my buddy Jane several years ago. In looking ahead to an extra-busy week, she wrote that she was perched on the bank of a fast-moving stream, preparing to jump in and hoping to stay afloat. We have often returned to that image over the years.
If the joy of FLOW occurs with a perfect match between skills and challenges, whitewater pushes the limits and calls for us to develop new skills. In whitewater, the current is powerful and the hydraulics complex. The movement is swift, and our responses must be intuitive and instantaneous. Small errors of judgment can flip us and carry us on an even wilder ride.
People who excel at running whitewater have developed skills in planning, presence, and recovery. They plan by studying a stretch of river in advance, running it repeatedly in their imaginations until the pattern of flow and response has become engrained in their very being. They employ presence in midst of the action. When they are in motion, they don’t think things through and weigh the options; they don’t worry about what will happen if things don’t come together. They are intensely present, focused on the demands of the millisecond. Finally, when upsets occur, and they always do, the whitewater expert knows can flip upright in an instant.
In order to experience FLOW in life when the pace picks up, it is helpful to model our efforts on the skills of those who run rapids for fun (and live to tell about it). Look out ahead, memorize the current, develop strategies for unexpected twists and turns, rehearse. When riding the current, set aside the fearful mind. Pay attention to what is happening now, and trust in training to guide the response. When the boat flips over, draw on highly developed skills and practice to resume an upright pose with a few deft strokes.
Look out to the week ahead. Where are the holes, the eddies, and the rocks? Is there a waterfall? Are you prepared to launch the week and ride the current with confidence? If so, practice your Eskimo roll and go for it. If not, listen to your inner voice and consider the wisdom of carrying your boat around the most hazardous conditions.
Until next time, go well.
Pam
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eskimorolle-im-wildwasser.jpg
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Whitewater: FLOW with a Twist
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Energy Part 1: The Body
Two weeks ago, I introduced the four dimensions of energy: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Each of those dimensions is deep and broad enough to study for a lifetime. Nevertheless, I will be making a quick trip into each dimension over the coming weeks, to take a snapshot of energy challenges and some practices that can help meet those challenges.
Physical energy seems simple enough. The body needs food, oxygen, activity, and rest. The right mix of those elements will produce the energy we need to live a productive and enjoyable life. Why, then, do many of us lament a lack of energy when assessing our well-being?
Of the many issues we might discuss, one of the most challenging is lack of quality sleep. Sleep can be fragile. We can’t make sleep happen with good intentions, willpower, or sheer force. The harder we try, the further it retreats. Sleep entails letting go.
It is common for many of us to wake after a few hours, without being able to fall back to sleep. Our minds quickly turn toward issues of the day before or the day ahead. We fret about to-do lists. We replay or rehearse difficult conversations. We run through our mistakes or worry about upcoming challenges: over and over and over. Sometimes, but not often, we come up with the brilliant insight that fixes the problem we are working on. More often, we get out of bed exhausted from the effort with nothing else to show for it.
To fall asleep after waking during the night, we must release our thoughts and allow space to fill the field of awareness. Some useful techniques are drawn from the practice of meditation. Attend to breathing. Inhale one, two, three, four. Exhale one, two, three four. Envision a candle and lose yourself in the image. Remember a favorite place, and imagine yourself there. Adopt a soothing word or phrase, repeating it slowly. Try white noise, such as a fan or a sound machine to draw the attention without exciting a flow of thought.
The ability to influence our own thoughts is a skill worth nurturing. That skill can turn a negative situation onto a positive path. It can allow us to manage physical pain and to work our way through emotional distress. It can also contribute to physical energy by opening the door to restful and restoring sleep.
Is sleep a challenge for you? What about the body’s other basic needs? What one thing will you do this week to supply the fuel, oxygen, exertion, and recovery your body needs to keep on going, day after day?
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Physical energy seems simple enough. The body needs food, oxygen, activity, and rest. The right mix of those elements will produce the energy we need to live a productive and enjoyable life. Why, then, do many of us lament a lack of energy when assessing our well-being?
Of the many issues we might discuss, one of the most challenging is lack of quality sleep. Sleep can be fragile. We can’t make sleep happen with good intentions, willpower, or sheer force. The harder we try, the further it retreats. Sleep entails letting go.
It is common for many of us to wake after a few hours, without being able to fall back to sleep. Our minds quickly turn toward issues of the day before or the day ahead. We fret about to-do lists. We replay or rehearse difficult conversations. We run through our mistakes or worry about upcoming challenges: over and over and over. Sometimes, but not often, we come up with the brilliant insight that fixes the problem we are working on. More often, we get out of bed exhausted from the effort with nothing else to show for it.
To fall asleep after waking during the night, we must release our thoughts and allow space to fill the field of awareness. Some useful techniques are drawn from the practice of meditation. Attend to breathing. Inhale one, two, three, four. Exhale one, two, three four. Envision a candle and lose yourself in the image. Remember a favorite place, and imagine yourself there. Adopt a soothing word or phrase, repeating it slowly. Try white noise, such as a fan or a sound machine to draw the attention without exciting a flow of thought.
The ability to influence our own thoughts is a skill worth nurturing. That skill can turn a negative situation onto a positive path. It can allow us to manage physical pain and to work our way through emotional distress. It can also contribute to physical energy by opening the door to restful and restoring sleep.
Is sleep a challenge for you? What about the body’s other basic needs? What one thing will you do this week to supply the fuel, oxygen, exertion, and recovery your body needs to keep on going, day after day?
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Sunday, June 28, 2009
FLOW and the Fourth of July
On July 4, 1776, the Second Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. That document affirmed “certain unalienable rights,” including the right to pursue happiness. We grew up with that phrase, but how often do we ask what it means? How often do we exercise that right in our daily lives?
Happiness, like energy, is an elusive target. We want it (the more the better). We think we will know it when we see it. However, when asked to describe it, we falter. The answer is often framed as an absence of suffering. We understand suffering.
I have enjoyed reading several books this year that challenge us to understand happiness. One of those is FLOW, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
FLOW is a state of profound engagement in which time stops and we are captured by the richness and depth of the moment. FLOW finds that sweet spot between boredom and anxiety in which the challenge we face balances perfectly with our capacity to meet the challenge. FLOW takes action for its own sake, not as a means to a future goal. Star athletes, champion chess players, accomplished musicians, and participants in extreme sports experience FLOW. So can we.
Attention to the moment and its intrinsic value gives us a good start. Activities that exercise our skills at their highest level take us further down the path. Improving those skills, so that their limits increase and our delight expands in turn, generates even more potential for FLOW. Skills come in many forms: athletic, artistic, culinary, intellectual, interpersonal, organizational, and many more. We are programmed to seek and to find joy wherever we grow.
FLOW describes happiness as a state of being, not a goal. FLOW can be described. It can even be pursued, but only in the present moment—not in the future. What skills do you most enjoy using? Have you stretched them recently? This July 4, exercise the rights upon which our nation was founded—go out and pursue some happiness.
Until the next time, go well.
Pam
Happiness, like energy, is an elusive target. We want it (the more the better). We think we will know it when we see it. However, when asked to describe it, we falter. The answer is often framed as an absence of suffering. We understand suffering.
I have enjoyed reading several books this year that challenge us to understand happiness. One of those is FLOW, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
FLOW is a state of profound engagement in which time stops and we are captured by the richness and depth of the moment. FLOW finds that sweet spot between boredom and anxiety in which the challenge we face balances perfectly with our capacity to meet the challenge. FLOW takes action for its own sake, not as a means to a future goal. Star athletes, champion chess players, accomplished musicians, and participants in extreme sports experience FLOW. So can we.
Attention to the moment and its intrinsic value gives us a good start. Activities that exercise our skills at their highest level take us further down the path. Improving those skills, so that their limits increase and our delight expands in turn, generates even more potential for FLOW. Skills come in many forms: athletic, artistic, culinary, intellectual, interpersonal, organizational, and many more. We are programmed to seek and to find joy wherever we grow.
FLOW describes happiness as a state of being, not a goal. FLOW can be described. It can even be pursued, but only in the present moment—not in the future. What skills do you most enjoy using? Have you stretched them recently? This July 4, exercise the rights upon which our nation was founded—go out and pursue some happiness.
Until the next time, go well.
Pam
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Four Faces of Energy
A few weeks ago, we explored the challenge of maintaining and renewing personal energy. Human energy arises from a complex array of dynamics. In The Power of Full Engagement, Loehr and Schwartz describe four dimensions of energy: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Physical energy gets us to up in the morning and keeps us moving and alert until we go to bed. It is the foundation of human energy, but does not on its own provide enough impetus to power an effective and enjoyable life.
Emotional energy charges us to engage our fellows. Emotions can generate either negative or positive energy. Negativity is debilitating; it views others as threatening, and triggers the primitive responses of flight or fight. Positive emotion energizes; it reaches out to others with love, and engages their differences in creative and constructive ways. A life charged with positive emotion is rich with fulfilling relationships.
Mental energy enables focus and conscious optimism. When mental energy is high, we can manage our thoughts to serve our values and needs. We are confident in overcoming setbacks and dealing with the unexpected. When we are mentally depleted, we see ourselves as victims. Our thoughts run amok, pulling us in a hundred directions and damaging our ability to focus on the important. A life fueled by mental energy is like a train on track, heading smoothly toward its destination.
Spiritual energy reaches beyond the self and its needs, infusing life with purpose and inspiration. Spiritual energy fires us up to expand our horizons—to dream, to give, and to serve. A life enkindled by purposeful ideals can rise above petty conflicts and short-term irritations to seek and advance a greater good. It is like a bird or a plane, soaring for the horizon.
Reflect on your own energy. Which dimensions of energy are strongest for you, and which could benefit from greater capacity? Loehr and Schwartz move beyond these concepts to provide practical approaches for enhancing each dimension. Stay tuned. More is coming.
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Physical energy gets us to up in the morning and keeps us moving and alert until we go to bed. It is the foundation of human energy, but does not on its own provide enough impetus to power an effective and enjoyable life.
Emotional energy charges us to engage our fellows. Emotions can generate either negative or positive energy. Negativity is debilitating; it views others as threatening, and triggers the primitive responses of flight or fight. Positive emotion energizes; it reaches out to others with love, and engages their differences in creative and constructive ways. A life charged with positive emotion is rich with fulfilling relationships.
Mental energy enables focus and conscious optimism. When mental energy is high, we can manage our thoughts to serve our values and needs. We are confident in overcoming setbacks and dealing with the unexpected. When we are mentally depleted, we see ourselves as victims. Our thoughts run amok, pulling us in a hundred directions and damaging our ability to focus on the important. A life fueled by mental energy is like a train on track, heading smoothly toward its destination.
Spiritual energy reaches beyond the self and its needs, infusing life with purpose and inspiration. Spiritual energy fires us up to expand our horizons—to dream, to give, and to serve. A life enkindled by purposeful ideals can rise above petty conflicts and short-term irritations to seek and advance a greater good. It is like a bird or a plane, soaring for the horizon.
Reflect on your own energy. Which dimensions of energy are strongest for you, and which could benefit from greater capacity? Loehr and Schwartz move beyond these concepts to provide practical approaches for enhancing each dimension. Stay tuned. More is coming.
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Own the Change You Want to Make
“People don’t resist change; they resist being changed.” That saying is one of my favorites from a year of coach training. I find it a helpful insight both when I want others to change and when I consider my own desire to build new habits. Whether we want to lose weight, increase exercise, or manage stress it is important to frame that change in a way that makes it our own.
People who engage a wellness coach often begin the conversation, “My doctor tells me I need to….fill in the blank.” A few weeks ago, we talked about the down-side of fear as a motivator, and fear is often an undercurrent in doctors’ advice. In addition, we tend to resist when others try to make us change. The more intense the pressure, the more we resist. We resist doctors. We resist parents. We resist children. We resist spouses and partners (perhaps most of all).
Another variation on the same theme is our choice of words—in particular, the word “should.” I really should stop smoking. I should get up earlier so I can work out before other things get in the way. I should just stop eating cookies because I can never stop at one. I should bring my lunch instead of eating fast food. “Should” implies that some higher and more virtuous authority is telling me what to do. A sentence that begins with “should” often ends with “but I don’t really want to,” or “but I never seem to get around to it.”
An important shift occurs when we take charge of our own goals, and dig deep to find our own reasons for making difficult changes. What do YOU really want? What will YOU feel like when you are trimmer and fitter? How do YOU want to spend your golden years? Do YOU want to be active and energetic? Do YOU want to be focused and productive? Do YOU want to enjoy being in family photos instead of ducking out when the camera appears?
Watch for phrases that imply that a good intention is someone else’s idea; it will most likely remain a good intention. Practice re-framing your words to make the intention your own, and it will most likely become a reality.
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
People who engage a wellness coach often begin the conversation, “My doctor tells me I need to….fill in the blank.” A few weeks ago, we talked about the down-side of fear as a motivator, and fear is often an undercurrent in doctors’ advice. In addition, we tend to resist when others try to make us change. The more intense the pressure, the more we resist. We resist doctors. We resist parents. We resist children. We resist spouses and partners (perhaps most of all).
Another variation on the same theme is our choice of words—in particular, the word “should.” I really should stop smoking. I should get up earlier so I can work out before other things get in the way. I should just stop eating cookies because I can never stop at one. I should bring my lunch instead of eating fast food. “Should” implies that some higher and more virtuous authority is telling me what to do. A sentence that begins with “should” often ends with “but I don’t really want to,” or “but I never seem to get around to it.”
An important shift occurs when we take charge of our own goals, and dig deep to find our own reasons for making difficult changes. What do YOU really want? What will YOU feel like when you are trimmer and fitter? How do YOU want to spend your golden years? Do YOU want to be active and energetic? Do YOU want to be focused and productive? Do YOU want to enjoy being in family photos instead of ducking out when the camera appears?
Watch for phrases that imply that a good intention is someone else’s idea; it will most likely remain a good intention. Practice re-framing your words to make the intention your own, and it will most likely become a reality.
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Sunday, June 7, 2009
A Celebration of Buddies
I am writing Reflections early this week, because on Sunday I will be running instead of writing. Jane, Ann, and I have been training since winter for the Deadwood Mickelson Trail Half Marathon. It will be our third as a threesome. I want to spend a few minutes today in their honor, celebrating the power of partners in having fun as well as success on the wellness journey.
Jane and I have been virtual running buddies for almost eight years. We met at a meeting, and got to talking about marathons. We had each run one. Slowly. We had the same shoe size. Extra large. Our running stories are filled with modest goals, small celebrations, and what I like to call “a human scale.” We lived far apart, but we started to e-mail daily about our training, our aspirations, and our setbacks. We shared tips on hydration, fueling, and clothing. We gradually expanded into family, work, and spirituality. All that time, we have been running together in spirit across the miles. Our few runs-together-in-the flesh have spanned the states of Wyoming, Alaska, Montana, Utah…and now, South Dakota. I celebrate Jane.
Ann and I have been buddies for more than three years. We worked together, and talked about running. We both loved to run. She asked me to run with her. I said no. I run slowly…more slowly than anyone can imagine. I am self-conscious. She insisted. We have been through two marathons (hers) and halfs (ours and mine). We have worked our way through body parts, learning new terms like: piriformis, plantar fascia, abductor, adductor, TFL, Achilles, and sacroiliac. We have run long miles talking about work and family, victories and challenges. We have solved problems and laughed at our foibles. On a human scale. I celebrate Ann.
Buddies are people we can be real with. We can admit our shortcomings and confide our hopes and know that we are safe. When we feel safe, we can both extend our reach and accept our limitations. We can set goals and meet them. Or not. We can get better and age gracefully. We can have a blast every step of the way.
Who are your buddies? Have you given them a hug recently? Do it now.
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Jane and I have been virtual running buddies for almost eight years. We met at a meeting, and got to talking about marathons. We had each run one. Slowly. We had the same shoe size. Extra large. Our running stories are filled with modest goals, small celebrations, and what I like to call “a human scale.” We lived far apart, but we started to e-mail daily about our training, our aspirations, and our setbacks. We shared tips on hydration, fueling, and clothing. We gradually expanded into family, work, and spirituality. All that time, we have been running together in spirit across the miles. Our few runs-together-in-the flesh have spanned the states of Wyoming, Alaska, Montana, Utah…and now, South Dakota. I celebrate Jane.
Ann and I have been buddies for more than three years. We worked together, and talked about running. We both loved to run. She asked me to run with her. I said no. I run slowly…more slowly than anyone can imagine. I am self-conscious. She insisted. We have been through two marathons (hers) and halfs (ours and mine). We have worked our way through body parts, learning new terms like: piriformis, plantar fascia, abductor, adductor, TFL, Achilles, and sacroiliac. We have run long miles talking about work and family, victories and challenges. We have solved problems and laughed at our foibles. On a human scale. I celebrate Ann.
Buddies are people we can be real with. We can admit our shortcomings and confide our hopes and know that we are safe. When we feel safe, we can both extend our reach and accept our limitations. We can set goals and meet them. Or not. We can get better and age gracefully. We can have a blast every step of the way.
Who are your buddies? Have you given them a hug recently? Do it now.
Until the next time, be well.
Pam
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Do You Want to Change? STOP!
When we are inspired to make a lifestyle change, one tendency is to procrastinate; another is to jump in over our head and flounder. In either case, we may find ourselves stuck where we are, not making the progress we intend and wondering why not.
Sometimes, we like the idea of taking on a new habit, and may even commit verbally to trying it out. However, we haven’t done enough pre-work to ensure success. Using the travel analogy, we haven’t checked for construction delays, bridges out, the weather forecast (or haven’t figured out how to deal with them). It is often worth the investment to STOP before we act— before we join the gym or buy the stationary bike or take our “fat” wardrobe to the thrift shop.
When initiating a lifestyle change, mentally test-drive the route and its detours. Ask hard questions. What will be required of me and those close to me? Does it involve a change in schedule, at home or at work? Does it mean eating different foods at home or changing the patterns of eating out? Can I budget for the cost of a class, or equipment, or a membership? Do I have a compelling vision of the desired future and my reasons for going there? Do the benefits of making a change clearly outweigh the comforts of staying the same?
Let’s look at an example: I want to deal more effectively with work stress. I set a goal of meditating 30 minutes every morning during the week. My mornings are already full, so I need to carve out time for meditation by changing what I do now. I usually start the day with my husband over coffee. I prepare breakfast for my kids and pack their lunch for school. I like to stay up late and I hate to get up early. I have daily 8am staff meetings at work.
In this case, adding a new morning habit calls for the cooperation of family members. It means modifying my own expectations, and moving out of familiar patterns. It could involve negotiating standard practice at my workplace. If I am not sure why such a change is critical to health and well-being, I may not have the emotional strength to forge new rituals and let go of old ones.
Think about successful changes you have made, personally or professionally, and how you have worked out the details. Reflect on lessons you have learned about yourself, your environment, and your support network that can be applied to the current situation. Identify personal strengths and skills you can draw upon.
Ask yourself, “On a scale of 1-10, what is my level of confidence that I can make it happen?” If the answer is below 7 on the scale, spend some more time on “thinking and feeling” work before committing to action.
Until the next time, go well.
Pam
Sometimes, we like the idea of taking on a new habit, and may even commit verbally to trying it out. However, we haven’t done enough pre-work to ensure success. Using the travel analogy, we haven’t checked for construction delays, bridges out, the weather forecast (or haven’t figured out how to deal with them). It is often worth the investment to STOP before we act— before we join the gym or buy the stationary bike or take our “fat” wardrobe to the thrift shop.
When initiating a lifestyle change, mentally test-drive the route and its detours. Ask hard questions. What will be required of me and those close to me? Does it involve a change in schedule, at home or at work? Does it mean eating different foods at home or changing the patterns of eating out? Can I budget for the cost of a class, or equipment, or a membership? Do I have a compelling vision of the desired future and my reasons for going there? Do the benefits of making a change clearly outweigh the comforts of staying the same?
Let’s look at an example: I want to deal more effectively with work stress. I set a goal of meditating 30 minutes every morning during the week. My mornings are already full, so I need to carve out time for meditation by changing what I do now. I usually start the day with my husband over coffee. I prepare breakfast for my kids and pack their lunch for school. I like to stay up late and I hate to get up early. I have daily 8am staff meetings at work.
In this case, adding a new morning habit calls for the cooperation of family members. It means modifying my own expectations, and moving out of familiar patterns. It could involve negotiating standard practice at my workplace. If I am not sure why such a change is critical to health and well-being, I may not have the emotional strength to forge new rituals and let go of old ones.
Think about successful changes you have made, personally or professionally, and how you have worked out the details. Reflect on lessons you have learned about yourself, your environment, and your support network that can be applied to the current situation. Identify personal strengths and skills you can draw upon.
Ask yourself, “On a scale of 1-10, what is my level of confidence that I can make it happen?” If the answer is below 7 on the scale, spend some more time on “thinking and feeling” work before committing to action.
Until the next time, go well.
Pam
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
