Energy Part 4: The Soul

Spiritual energy transforms our best intentions into action, and maintains momentum over time. It also enables us to confront the uncertainties of our lives with flexibility, changing course as needed to deal with obstacles while maintaining a clear vision of the desired outcome.

The Power of Full Engagement describes spiritual energy as “the connection to a deeply held set of values and to a purpose beyond our self-interest.” In an earlier issue of Reflections, I contrasted mental energy (a train on its track) with spiritual energy (an airplane taking off).
The train is on a track to its predetermined destination, while the airplane has the freedom to navigate en route, to rise above storm clouds or divert to a different airport. Those of you who are pilots will tell me it’s not that simple. Neither is life.

Our life journeys are filled with circumstances we do not choose. The job may be a disappointment. Health issues appear out of nowhere. Relationships stumble; sometimes they fail. While mental focus and optimism serve us well when conditions are stable, they may not be strong enough to deal with the unexpected.

Spiritual purpose allows us to look beyond the destination on the travel folder: where we thought we wanted to go. It can rise above the two-dimensional world in which we normally live, and chart a different course that fulfills a broader need. With spiritual energy we can see through the setbacks of today and discover the lessons they intend for tomorrow’s growth.

Spiritual energy guides us and motivates us. Without it, our lives can be narrowly focused, self-absorbed, and filled with the frustration of unrealized good intentions. What are your deepest values? What is your unique calling? Why is it important that you know the answers to those questions and act on them? When conditions change, when there is fog on the road or a bridge is out or it rains on the beachfront holiday, the sense of deeper purpose will point the way.

Like physical, emotional, and mental energy, spiritual energy calls for attention and investment. It calls for a balance between devotion to others and caring for oneself. Consider your calendar. Does it include both the opportunity for reflection and the commitment to service that re-fuel your sense of purpose? What might you add or re-mix to better serve that need?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Wellness: A Do-it-Yourself Project

A key principle of coaching is expressed in the mantra: “It’s not about me” (the coach). It is about the client. Your wellness journey is about you. You pick the destination, research and design the itinerary, elect a mode of transportation and a style of lodging. You decide whether progress will be leisurely or intense, who to take along, and how to deal with the unexpected.

The first step in the wellness journey is to take a look at where you are, then to determine where you want to go. I am often asked, “What do you mean by wellness?” The following assessment points to the answer by asking the question in a variety of ways.

Adapted from the Wellcoaches® Quickie Well-being Assessment….

1. I am crafting a life that has meaning and a sense of purpose – it is a work of art. Y/N
2. I eat healthful foods most of the time to keep my energy and performance high. Y/N
3. I exercise my body with vigor more days than not so that I’m fit, strong, and ready for whatever life throws my way. Y/N
4. I smile to myself when faced with stresses and say, “I can handle this.” Y/N
5. I keep my energy high from morning to night, so I am rarely too tired for anything. Y/N
6. I have a positive and optimistic “can-do” outlook: I believe that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind and body to do. Y/N
7. I am satisfied with my weight—I feel in charge and competent. Y/N
8. I always look for ways to say “thank you,” and to do unexpected good deeds. Y/N
9. I plan and control my finances so they don’t control me. Y/N
10. I watch carefully for emerging obsessions or addictions (e.g., being right, smoking, drinking, drugs, work, exercise, eating, gambling, shopping). If they arise I work diligently on overcoming them, getting help if I need it. Y/N
11. I am responsible when it comes to getting medical tests, seeking medical advice, and managing any health issues. Y/N
12. I make time regularly to recharge my batteries and have fun. Y/N
13. I work hard to connect with people and build great relationships. Y/N
14. I understand that my life’s journey is to strive to be my best, by developing my strengths, continually learning, and viewing setbacks as the best growth opportunities of all. Y/N

Of the 14 questions, how many did you answer with “yes”? Where are you strong, and where would you like to be stronger? Did you find any aspects of wellness that had not occurred to you? Were you surprised by any of your responses?

The journey begins where you are. An assessment like this one is a kind of GPS unit, helping locate you in space and time. Where will we go from here? I can hardly wait!

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Energy Part 3: The Mind

Mental energy is at its best when we can focus our attention on one priority, allowing the rest of our lives and thoughts to wait their turn. Of the four dimensions of energy, I find mental focus the biggest challenge. Thoughts proliferate and disperse, illustrating the principle of entropy in an expanding universe of mental particles.

The energy of mental focus is needed to read. It is needed to write. It is needed to be fully present in a conversation. It is needed to enjoy a sunset, a flower, or a child at play. Focus calls both for attaching and letting go…attaching to a single object and letting go of everything else.

In Coming to Our Senses, Jon Kabat-Zinn writes a chapter entitled “A.D.D. Nation” He reflects on our cultural enchantment with multi-tasking and the ever-more abundant technology that promotes our doing many things at once. He points in particular to our multiple means for staying connected with others: cell phone, pager, text messaging, instant messaging, e-mail, social networking, and so on. Being connected is a good thing. We are a social species and our well-being is enhanced by a network of interpersonal knowing and caring.

On the other hand, we are also a species that reflects. Homo sapiens sapiens—the species that knows that it knows. Reflection is a solitary activity. It involves delving into the soul and developing the center around which to develop a principled life. Sometimes we are so well connected that we are in touch with everyone, every minute of the day—except ourselves.

Mental energy enables us to focus on one priority, to reflect, and to be present. Mental energy is enhanced by practice: we build capacity for focus by training ourselves to attend to one thing at a time. Mental energy is also enhanced by physical exercise. The brain represents 2% of body weight but uses 25% of available oxygen. People often report that their best ideas emerge when they are running or biking or climbing a mountain.

Practice makes perfect. Mind and body are partners. Connect and reflect. Food for thought. Are you challenged by an errant and exhausted mind? What works for you?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Time: Frame It and Paint It

Like energy and happiness, time seems to come in short supply. It doesn’t meet all the needs and wants that we ask of it. “So many books, so little time,” is a magnet on our fridge. We have all heard variations on that theme (some of them crossing the line of good taste).

I was once asked to bring a creative product to share with the group. With no artistic, musical, or culinary talents, I struggled with what to bring. Eventually I made a collage representing the design and combination of activities in time. I described time as a canvas, activities as the palette of colors from which to choose. That metaphor still works for me, as I enjoy painting a picture on the canvas of a day far more than fighting again with the day planner (and losing).

Some blocks of time are a paint-by-number set. Many work days have that appearance. The shapes are in place, and little numbers correspond to predetermined colors: budget meeting (15), conference call (33), performance rating (07). As much as they frustrate freedom of expression, a quality paint-by-number project can be quite lovely. It represents a whole that makes a harmonious larger picture of smaller parts. A busy work day can also be pretty.

Other days are more like a coloring book. The lines are there, but we can choose any color we want to fill in the spaces. Maybe we get the giant box of crayons (do they still make crayons?) and we can pick burnt ochre, magenta, or peach as well as red, yellow, and blue. I think of the typical weekend as a coloring book. There are errands to run, family events, social occasions—the structure is there, but we have freedom to create our own shades and tones.

Then, there is the scary magic of a blank canvas! Maybe the rest of the family is at a soccer tournament, or we have the day off but everyone else is at work or school. Or--an example close to my heart--we retire. What to do? Pull out the paint-box and the imagination. Sketch a few lines to suggest a shape or two then go for the color and the pattern and the image that arise from the vast depth of possibilities. Such a day can be as simple or as complex as you make it, and the definition of beautiful is left to you.

Time-as-art does not solve the problem of too many work or home or family tasks to fit into a day. It may, however, enrich the effort. If we see our day as a canvas, and strive to make each day beautiful in its own way, we may just have a burst of joy that would not otherwise appear.

What does that blank canvas suggest to you?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Energy Part 2: The Heart

Emotional energy governs the movement of our heart toward and away from our fellows. It sizes up the other, and determines in an instant whether they are friend or foe. Approach, Engage. Retreat. Fight, flee…or embrace.

All dimensions of energy are influenced by our thoughts. We noted in another discussion that even the restful sleep required for physical energy can be derailed or improved by events in the mind. Emotional energy is likewise enhanced when we pay attention to our thoughts about others and take responsibility for the direction and expression of our thinking.

Blame, anger, judgment, and the struggle for control arise from thoughts that sap the flow of energy and stop the power of engagement in its tracks. Acceptance, gratitude, forgiveness, and cooperation are expressed in thoughts that free the heart to join another in work and play on the common ground of humanness.

A few days ago, I was impressed by a conversation in the locker room among a group of women whose grievances over household appliances appeared bottomless. I hurried to dress and escape as soon as I could. I felt my love for life ebbing away with tales of faulty refrigerators and microwave ovens. It was such a relief to walk outside and celebrate the day by re-calibrating the contents of my mind.

If a rant about stoves and garbage disposals can strike such a discordant note, how much more does our energy suffer from harsh thoughts about people? Whether we dwell on the aggressive actions of nations around the globe, or the annoying habits of those who are nearest and dearest, a catalog of grievances is not the kind of reading that ignites a positive flame.

The habit of setting aside the critical thought, diverting the destructive conversation, replacing judgment with benefit of the doubt, takes awareness and commitment. The rewards in emotional energy are worth the effort. Emotional energy enables us to embrace the other and to enjoy the differences that, together, add up to a whole greater than any individual on his or her own.

Think for a moment about one of your most challenging “others.” What about them can you find to appreciate? How would you interpret their shortcomings with more kindness and understanding? Is there a way you might reach out, connect, and heal? Watch to see whether your inner energy improves with those efforts. I encourage you to share your experience with Wellbuddies if the spirit so moves.

Until the next time, be well.

Pam

Whitewater: FLOW with a Twist

Our recent discussion of FLOW leads me through free association to the metaphor of whitewater, introduced by my buddy Jane several years ago. In looking ahead to an extra-busy week, she wrote that she was perched on the bank of a fast-moving stream, preparing to jump in and hoping to stay afloat. We have often returned to that image over the years.

If the joy of FLOW occurs with a perfect match between skills and challenges, whitewater pushes the limits and calls for us to develop new skills. In whitewater, the current is powerful and the hydraulics complex. The movement is swift, and our responses must be intuitive and instantaneous. Small errors of judgment can flip us and carry us on an even wilder ride.

People who excel at running whitewater have developed skills in planning, presence, and recovery. They plan by studying a stretch of river in advance, running it repeatedly in their imaginations until the pattern of flow and response has become engrained in their very being. They employ presence in midst of the action. When they are in motion, they don’t think things through and weigh the options; they don’t worry about what will happen if things don’t come together. They are intensely present, focused on the demands of the millisecond. Finally, when upsets occur, and they always do, the whitewater expert knows can flip upright in an instant.

In order to experience FLOW in life when the pace picks up, it is helpful to model our efforts on the skills of those who run rapids for fun (and live to tell about it). Look out ahead, memorize the current, develop strategies for unexpected twists and turns, rehearse. When riding the current, set aside the fearful mind. Pay attention to what is happening now, and trust in training to guide the response. When the boat flips over, draw on highly developed skills and practice to resume an upright pose with a few deft strokes.

Look out to the week ahead. Where are the holes, the eddies, and the rocks? Is there a waterfall? Are you prepared to launch the week and ride the current with confidence? If so, practice your Eskimo roll and go for it. If not, listen to your inner voice and consider the wisdom of carrying your boat around the most hazardous conditions.

Until next time, go well.

Pam

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eskimorolle-im-wildwasser.jpg

Energy Part 1: The Body

Two weeks ago, I introduced the four dimensions of energy: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Each of those dimensions is deep and broad enough to study for a lifetime. Nevertheless, I will be making a quick trip into each dimension over the coming weeks, to take a snapshot of energy challenges and some practices that can help meet those challenges.


Physical energy seems simple enough. The body needs food, oxygen, activity, and rest. The right mix of those elements will produce the energy we need to live a productive and enjoyable life. Why, then, do many of us lament a lack of energy when assessing our well-being?

Of the many issues we might discuss, one of the most challenging is lack of quality sleep. Sleep can be fragile. We can’t make sleep happen with good intentions, willpower, or sheer force. The harder we try, the further it retreats. Sleep entails letting go.

It is common for many of us to wake after a few hours, without being able to fall back to sleep. Our minds quickly turn toward issues of the day before or the day ahead. We fret about to-do lists. We replay or rehearse difficult conversations. We run through our mistakes or worry about upcoming challenges: over and over and over. Sometimes, but not often, we come up with the brilliant insight that fixes the problem we are working on. More often, we get out of bed exhausted from the effort with nothing else to show for it.

To fall asleep after waking during the night, we must release our thoughts and allow space to fill the field of awareness. Some useful techniques are drawn from the practice of meditation. Attend to breathing. Inhale one, two, three, four. Exhale one, two, three four. Envision a candle and lose yourself in the image. Remember a favorite place, and imagine yourself there. Adopt a soothing word or phrase, repeating it slowly. Try white noise, such as a fan or a sound machine to draw the attention without exciting a flow of thought.

The ability to influence our own thoughts is a skill worth nurturing. That skill can turn a negative situation onto a positive path. It can allow us to manage physical pain and to work our way through emotional distress. It can also contribute to physical energy by opening the door to restful and restoring sleep.

Is sleep a challenge for you? What about the body’s other basic needs? What one thing will you do this week to supply the fuel, oxygen, exertion, and recovery your body needs to keep on going, day after day?

Until the next time, be well.

Pam