Time: Frame It and Paint It

Like energy and happiness, time seems to come in short supply. It doesn’t meet all the needs and wants that we ask of it. “So many books, so little time,” is a magnet on our fridge. We have all heard variations on that theme (some of them crossing the line of good taste).

I was once asked to bring a creative product to share with the group. With no artistic, musical, or culinary talents, I struggled with what to bring. Eventually I made a collage representing the design and combination of activities in time. I described time as a canvas, activities as the palette of colors from which to choose. That metaphor still works for me, as I enjoy painting a picture on the canvas of a day far more than fighting again with the day planner (and losing).

Some blocks of time are a paint-by-number set. Many work days have that appearance. The shapes are in place, and little numbers correspond to predetermined colors: budget meeting (15), conference call (33), performance rating (07). As much as they frustrate freedom of expression, a quality paint-by-number project can be quite lovely. It represents a whole that makes a harmonious larger picture of smaller parts. A busy work day can also be pretty.

Other days are more like a coloring book. The lines are there, but we can choose any color we want to fill in the spaces. Maybe we get the giant box of crayons (do they still make crayons?) and we can pick burnt ochre, magenta, or peach as well as red, yellow, and blue. I think of the typical weekend as a coloring book. There are errands to run, family events, social occasions—the structure is there, but we have freedom to create our own shades and tones.

Then, there is the scary magic of a blank canvas! Maybe the rest of the family is at a soccer tournament, or we have the day off but everyone else is at work or school. Or--an example close to my heart--we retire. What to do? Pull out the paint-box and the imagination. Sketch a few lines to suggest a shape or two then go for the color and the pattern and the image that arise from the vast depth of possibilities. Such a day can be as simple or as complex as you make it, and the definition of beautiful is left to you.

Time-as-art does not solve the problem of too many work or home or family tasks to fit into a day. It may, however, enrich the effort. If we see our day as a canvas, and strive to make each day beautiful in its own way, we may just have a burst of joy that would not otherwise appear.

What does that blank canvas suggest to you?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Energy Part 2: The Heart

Emotional energy governs the movement of our heart toward and away from our fellows. It sizes up the other, and determines in an instant whether they are friend or foe. Approach, Engage. Retreat. Fight, flee…or embrace.

All dimensions of energy are influenced by our thoughts. We noted in another discussion that even the restful sleep required for physical energy can be derailed or improved by events in the mind. Emotional energy is likewise enhanced when we pay attention to our thoughts about others and take responsibility for the direction and expression of our thinking.

Blame, anger, judgment, and the struggle for control arise from thoughts that sap the flow of energy and stop the power of engagement in its tracks. Acceptance, gratitude, forgiveness, and cooperation are expressed in thoughts that free the heart to join another in work and play on the common ground of humanness.

A few days ago, I was impressed by a conversation in the locker room among a group of women whose grievances over household appliances appeared bottomless. I hurried to dress and escape as soon as I could. I felt my love for life ebbing away with tales of faulty refrigerators and microwave ovens. It was such a relief to walk outside and celebrate the day by re-calibrating the contents of my mind.

If a rant about stoves and garbage disposals can strike such a discordant note, how much more does our energy suffer from harsh thoughts about people? Whether we dwell on the aggressive actions of nations around the globe, or the annoying habits of those who are nearest and dearest, a catalog of grievances is not the kind of reading that ignites a positive flame.

The habit of setting aside the critical thought, diverting the destructive conversation, replacing judgment with benefit of the doubt, takes awareness and commitment. The rewards in emotional energy are worth the effort. Emotional energy enables us to embrace the other and to enjoy the differences that, together, add up to a whole greater than any individual on his or her own.

Think for a moment about one of your most challenging “others.” What about them can you find to appreciate? How would you interpret their shortcomings with more kindness and understanding? Is there a way you might reach out, connect, and heal? Watch to see whether your inner energy improves with those efforts. I encourage you to share your experience with Wellbuddies if the spirit so moves.

Until the next time, be well.

Pam

Whitewater: FLOW with a Twist

Our recent discussion of FLOW leads me through free association to the metaphor of whitewater, introduced by my buddy Jane several years ago. In looking ahead to an extra-busy week, she wrote that she was perched on the bank of a fast-moving stream, preparing to jump in and hoping to stay afloat. We have often returned to that image over the years.

If the joy of FLOW occurs with a perfect match between skills and challenges, whitewater pushes the limits and calls for us to develop new skills. In whitewater, the current is powerful and the hydraulics complex. The movement is swift, and our responses must be intuitive and instantaneous. Small errors of judgment can flip us and carry us on an even wilder ride.

People who excel at running whitewater have developed skills in planning, presence, and recovery. They plan by studying a stretch of river in advance, running it repeatedly in their imaginations until the pattern of flow and response has become engrained in their very being. They employ presence in midst of the action. When they are in motion, they don’t think things through and weigh the options; they don’t worry about what will happen if things don’t come together. They are intensely present, focused on the demands of the millisecond. Finally, when upsets occur, and they always do, the whitewater expert knows can flip upright in an instant.

In order to experience FLOW in life when the pace picks up, it is helpful to model our efforts on the skills of those who run rapids for fun (and live to tell about it). Look out ahead, memorize the current, develop strategies for unexpected twists and turns, rehearse. When riding the current, set aside the fearful mind. Pay attention to what is happening now, and trust in training to guide the response. When the boat flips over, draw on highly developed skills and practice to resume an upright pose with a few deft strokes.

Look out to the week ahead. Where are the holes, the eddies, and the rocks? Is there a waterfall? Are you prepared to launch the week and ride the current with confidence? If so, practice your Eskimo roll and go for it. If not, listen to your inner voice and consider the wisdom of carrying your boat around the most hazardous conditions.

Until next time, go well.

Pam

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eskimorolle-im-wildwasser.jpg

Energy Part 1: The Body

Two weeks ago, I introduced the four dimensions of energy: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Each of those dimensions is deep and broad enough to study for a lifetime. Nevertheless, I will be making a quick trip into each dimension over the coming weeks, to take a snapshot of energy challenges and some practices that can help meet those challenges.


Physical energy seems simple enough. The body needs food, oxygen, activity, and rest. The right mix of those elements will produce the energy we need to live a productive and enjoyable life. Why, then, do many of us lament a lack of energy when assessing our well-being?

Of the many issues we might discuss, one of the most challenging is lack of quality sleep. Sleep can be fragile. We can’t make sleep happen with good intentions, willpower, or sheer force. The harder we try, the further it retreats. Sleep entails letting go.

It is common for many of us to wake after a few hours, without being able to fall back to sleep. Our minds quickly turn toward issues of the day before or the day ahead. We fret about to-do lists. We replay or rehearse difficult conversations. We run through our mistakes or worry about upcoming challenges: over and over and over. Sometimes, but not often, we come up with the brilliant insight that fixes the problem we are working on. More often, we get out of bed exhausted from the effort with nothing else to show for it.

To fall asleep after waking during the night, we must release our thoughts and allow space to fill the field of awareness. Some useful techniques are drawn from the practice of meditation. Attend to breathing. Inhale one, two, three, four. Exhale one, two, three four. Envision a candle and lose yourself in the image. Remember a favorite place, and imagine yourself there. Adopt a soothing word or phrase, repeating it slowly. Try white noise, such as a fan or a sound machine to draw the attention without exciting a flow of thought.

The ability to influence our own thoughts is a skill worth nurturing. That skill can turn a negative situation onto a positive path. It can allow us to manage physical pain and to work our way through emotional distress. It can also contribute to physical energy by opening the door to restful and restoring sleep.

Is sleep a challenge for you? What about the body’s other basic needs? What one thing will you do this week to supply the fuel, oxygen, exertion, and recovery your body needs to keep on going, day after day?

Until the next time, be well.

Pam