The Spirit and Science of Personal Growth

As I work with people who are passionate about their wellness journeys, I find that the same two-track road leads most reliably to every destination.

On the one track, we have the Spirit: the deepest values that drive us to become our best selves. The Spirit is powerful, and it is elusive. It can be described, but not defined. Its fruits can be observed, but the creator of those fruits is invisible to the naked eye. A journey on the Spirit track is inspired by faith.

On the other track, we have Science: humanity’s current theory about how things work. Science observes. It is skeptical of anything inaccessible to the senses. Science tests hypotheses and discards those that do not hold up when challenged by facts. Science is pragmatic: if a theory doesn’t work, it doesn’t survive. A journey on the Science track is grounded in evidence.

Personal growth calls for change. We want some aspect of ourselves to be different—and better—a year from now. The Spirit path points us in the direction of change and fires us with a passion for action. Science tells us in practical terms how to get the results that we crave.

The science of behavioral change has various academic homes: organizational development, social services, health care. A common theme across disciplines is how best to align actions with intentions. An organization intends employee effort to align with its mission. Doctors intend that patients align their habits with the requirements of health and longevity. Social workers intend the skills of clients to align with the demands of productive and independent lives.

A successful wellness journey aligns our actions and habits with the well-being we intend. Spirit infuses our intention with direction and power; science helps us get there. Some approaches to behavioral change are more effective than others. In coming weeks, I will share some scientific findings that I find most helpful to a traveler on the road to greater health and happiness.

In the meantime, ask yourself, “What works for me?” Think of a personal challenge you turned around by changing your patterns of thinking and acting. What made it work then, when other efforts to change have failed? It is likely that your success stories are similar to those of others, and that we can all learn from the stories each of us has to tell.

Until the next time, be well.

Pam

Peak Experience: One Step at a Time

We spent the first ten days of August hiking in and around Yellowstone. We spent much of that time on ridge lines and peaks. High places have an irresistible draw. They provide a stunning perspective from the top of the world. They are graced by carpets of wildflowers and spectacular expanses of exposed rock. Sometimes they offer solitude. They are often cool and windy, creating their own weather. They are wild.

High places are also challenging. Narrow, steep, and often bumpy roads lead to muddy trails with tricky stream crossings. Mosquitoes, flies, and the images of grizzly bear haunt the approach. Lightning flashes; thunder rolls in the distance. Aging quads burn with the climb and knees creak as they descend. A question recurs, "Is this all worth the effort?" The reply resounds, "YES!"

I love mountains. Growing up on the flat land of central Indiana, I read tales of the mountainous West and begged my dad to take us there. When I was 11, we went to Colorado on vacation; mountain fever infected me then, as it has so many others. I crave literal “peak experiences” and return for them again and again.

However, as the challenges multiply with age, I find it ever more important to engage the mountain one step at a time. On this trip, I was keenly aware that a destination on the horizon could be a stretch. I hedged my goals with words like “try,” and “hope.” Plan B became a bigger part of the mix. Time and again, I arrived at the top with a sense of wonder: "How did I get here?" "One step at a time." I was more confident with every hike, as I experienced the power of repeating small efforts. Onward and ever upward. My spouse and buddy Lyle is great at going ahead when I am ready to turn back. We did it together.

I love analogies, and this one is too rich to pass by. Peak experiences offer extraordinary rewards. They demand effort, can be attained by committing to many small steps, and are more likely to occur when a congenial buddy with similar goals is along for the climb.

I invite you to draw comparisons with your own wellness journey. What peaks do you want to “bag” in the next few months? What do they look like, in detail? What is the view from the top? What do you crave about the experience, and why do you crave it now? Are you committed, or are you hedging your bets with “ifs” and “maybes”? What are some small and decisive steps you will take today and tomorrow? Who will share the experience as your buddy?

Until the next time, go well...and please send photos from the top.

Pam

Energy Part 4: The Soul

Spiritual energy transforms our best intentions into action, and maintains momentum over time. It also enables us to confront the uncertainties of our lives with flexibility, changing course as needed to deal with obstacles while maintaining a clear vision of the desired outcome.

The Power of Full Engagement describes spiritual energy as “the connection to a deeply held set of values and to a purpose beyond our self-interest.” In an earlier issue of Reflections, I contrasted mental energy (a train on its track) with spiritual energy (an airplane taking off).
The train is on a track to its predetermined destination, while the airplane has the freedom to navigate en route, to rise above storm clouds or divert to a different airport. Those of you who are pilots will tell me it’s not that simple. Neither is life.

Our life journeys are filled with circumstances we do not choose. The job may be a disappointment. Health issues appear out of nowhere. Relationships stumble; sometimes they fail. While mental focus and optimism serve us well when conditions are stable, they may not be strong enough to deal with the unexpected.

Spiritual purpose allows us to look beyond the destination on the travel folder: where we thought we wanted to go. It can rise above the two-dimensional world in which we normally live, and chart a different course that fulfills a broader need. With spiritual energy we can see through the setbacks of today and discover the lessons they intend for tomorrow’s growth.

Spiritual energy guides us and motivates us. Without it, our lives can be narrowly focused, self-absorbed, and filled with the frustration of unrealized good intentions. What are your deepest values? What is your unique calling? Why is it important that you know the answers to those questions and act on them? When conditions change, when there is fog on the road or a bridge is out or it rains on the beachfront holiday, the sense of deeper purpose will point the way.

Like physical, emotional, and mental energy, spiritual energy calls for attention and investment. It calls for a balance between devotion to others and caring for oneself. Consider your calendar. Does it include both the opportunity for reflection and the commitment to service that re-fuel your sense of purpose? What might you add or re-mix to better serve that need?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Wellness: A Do-it-Yourself Project

A key principle of coaching is expressed in the mantra: “It’s not about me” (the coach). It is about the client. Your wellness journey is about you. You pick the destination, research and design the itinerary, elect a mode of transportation and a style of lodging. You decide whether progress will be leisurely or intense, who to take along, and how to deal with the unexpected.

The first step in the wellness journey is to take a look at where you are, then to determine where you want to go. I am often asked, “What do you mean by wellness?” The following assessment points to the answer by asking the question in a variety of ways.

Adapted from the Wellcoaches® Quickie Well-being Assessment….

1. I am crafting a life that has meaning and a sense of purpose – it is a work of art. Y/N
2. I eat healthful foods most of the time to keep my energy and performance high. Y/N
3. I exercise my body with vigor more days than not so that I’m fit, strong, and ready for whatever life throws my way. Y/N
4. I smile to myself when faced with stresses and say, “I can handle this.” Y/N
5. I keep my energy high from morning to night, so I am rarely too tired for anything. Y/N
6. I have a positive and optimistic “can-do” outlook: I believe that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind and body to do. Y/N
7. I am satisfied with my weight—I feel in charge and competent. Y/N
8. I always look for ways to say “thank you,” and to do unexpected good deeds. Y/N
9. I plan and control my finances so they don’t control me. Y/N
10. I watch carefully for emerging obsessions or addictions (e.g., being right, smoking, drinking, drugs, work, exercise, eating, gambling, shopping). If they arise I work diligently on overcoming them, getting help if I need it. Y/N
11. I am responsible when it comes to getting medical tests, seeking medical advice, and managing any health issues. Y/N
12. I make time regularly to recharge my batteries and have fun. Y/N
13. I work hard to connect with people and build great relationships. Y/N
14. I understand that my life’s journey is to strive to be my best, by developing my strengths, continually learning, and viewing setbacks as the best growth opportunities of all. Y/N

Of the 14 questions, how many did you answer with “yes”? Where are you strong, and where would you like to be stronger? Did you find any aspects of wellness that had not occurred to you? Were you surprised by any of your responses?

The journey begins where you are. An assessment like this one is a kind of GPS unit, helping locate you in space and time. Where will we go from here? I can hardly wait!

Until the next time, go well.

Pam

Energy Part 3: The Mind

Mental energy is at its best when we can focus our attention on one priority, allowing the rest of our lives and thoughts to wait their turn. Of the four dimensions of energy, I find mental focus the biggest challenge. Thoughts proliferate and disperse, illustrating the principle of entropy in an expanding universe of mental particles.

The energy of mental focus is needed to read. It is needed to write. It is needed to be fully present in a conversation. It is needed to enjoy a sunset, a flower, or a child at play. Focus calls both for attaching and letting go…attaching to a single object and letting go of everything else.

In Coming to Our Senses, Jon Kabat-Zinn writes a chapter entitled “A.D.D. Nation” He reflects on our cultural enchantment with multi-tasking and the ever-more abundant technology that promotes our doing many things at once. He points in particular to our multiple means for staying connected with others: cell phone, pager, text messaging, instant messaging, e-mail, social networking, and so on. Being connected is a good thing. We are a social species and our well-being is enhanced by a network of interpersonal knowing and caring.

On the other hand, we are also a species that reflects. Homo sapiens sapiens—the species that knows that it knows. Reflection is a solitary activity. It involves delving into the soul and developing the center around which to develop a principled life. Sometimes we are so well connected that we are in touch with everyone, every minute of the day—except ourselves.

Mental energy enables us to focus on one priority, to reflect, and to be present. Mental energy is enhanced by practice: we build capacity for focus by training ourselves to attend to one thing at a time. Mental energy is also enhanced by physical exercise. The brain represents 2% of body weight but uses 25% of available oxygen. People often report that their best ideas emerge when they are running or biking or climbing a mountain.

Practice makes perfect. Mind and body are partners. Connect and reflect. Food for thought. Are you challenged by an errant and exhausted mind? What works for you?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam