Fear or Hope: It Makes a Difference

When we decide that now is the time to shape up and get our lives in order, any number of motives can drive the desire to change. Perhaps we received an invitation to the class reunion, and don’t want to overhear, “Wow, he sure let himself go.” Maybe we took the health assessment that they offer at work, and were surprised by the numbers. A scary doctor’s visit, anxiety about falling behind the group on a family hike, or the declining health or loss of a parent or sibling can serve as a wake-up call.

The motivation emerging from these examples includes an element of fear. We don’t want to be seen as declining, to suffer illness, or to lose our ability to engage in activities we enjoy. These experiences grab our attention and get us off the couch! For a while. On the other hand, they rarely fuel the kind of change that holds up over time.

Science has unearthed some intriguing evidence in favor of compelling positive motivation. Positive thoughts generate positive emotions and increase mood-lifting hormones that give us energy and hope. Negative thoughts generate hormones that are unpleasant and trigger the fight-or-flight response. We are repelled by thoughts that trigger negative hormones and attracted to thoughts that flood us with positive energy. As a result, we avoid thinking about the motivators that scare us, and we savor those that make us feel good.

Try it for yourself. If you are relying on fear to get you going, try re-framing the fear in terms of its complementary vision. “I don’t want to die at 60 like my parents,” becomes “I want to be hiking with the kids and grandkids in my 80’s.” “If I don’t lose 20 pounds, I’ll look like a beached whale at the wedding,” might be more inviting as “I like to wear a fitted dress for special occasions.” What is the key motivation for you, and how will you describe it in terms that invigorate you, again and again, with eagerness for change?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam