Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." (R.Niebuhr)

For much of my life I have been sucked easily into ranting about the way things should be, versus the way they are. The recent confrontation with viral demons is a case in point. I could do little to improve my condition. At best, I could accept reality and allow the time to heal. Instead, I beat the walls of my inner prison with fury and outrage. I railed at the injustice of illness on a long-awaited vacation. I resented the loss of voice during a rare and special visit.

The Serenity Prayer offers a cooling message. "Accept the things I cannot change." When I tap into that message, I begin to let go…stop resisting…flow.

The prayer does not, however, stop with acceptance. It moves on to courage: "the courage to change the things I can." Just as I sometimes rant about things beyond my control, I can also whine helplessly when, perhaps, I could make a difference. I complain about my own bad habits: “When will I ever lose those 20 ugly pounds?” I complain about government: “Why don’t they just buck up and do the right thing?” I complain about others: “How can they be so insensitive, coming up with a plan that drives me crazy.”

What, if anything, can we do in situations such as these? Are they really beyond our control? Should we be charting the shortest path from here to Serenity?

Sometimes “the wisdom to know the difference” reminds us to take a closer look. If I want to change a habit, I must do something different from what is not working now. It will take courage. If I want to engage the civic process, I must learn how it works and commit to engage. It will take courage. If I want to influence family plans, I may have to let go of being “nice.” It will take courage.

I may decide, after all, that I am not willing to make the effort, the sacrifice, or the trade-off to change the situation at hand. In choosing not to act, I relinquish the right to complain and I pray for the serenity of knowing that I had a choice to act, and chose to let it go.

What are the dilemmas between serenity and courage in your life? How do you distinguish the voice of wisdom from the voice of cowardice? Do you find serenity in truly accepting things as they are, and letting go of how you want them to be?

Until the next time, go well.

Pam