Patience and Persistance: Starting Again

In late January, buddy Jane and I embarked on a 3-month online Buddhist meditation class. The structured practice of daily reading and prescribed meditation protocols were helpful in developing a mindful approach to daily life. Now that the class has ended, I am struggling to keep the habit alive on my own.

Scientists report that it takes about 21 days to initiate a new behavior, and three months for it to become a habit that does not require continual repeated effort. My experience with the meditation habit validates that finding. After three months, it felt natural to wake and spend 20 minutes focusing instead of hitting the to-do list at full speed.

Then something changed. I took a trip. My routine was disrupted. Waking up in a motel meant going next door to Starbucks. Waking up the day of the race meant dressing quickly and heading to the starting line. Waking up back at home meant unpacking, list making, grocery shopping, and re-entering the demands of a busy week. When a flight was delayed, I spent 20 minutes listening to guided meditation on the laptop, but that was it for my new practice.

This morning, I started again. It felt awkward to sit quietly, focus the mind, attend to breathing. In a brief 10 days, “second nature” had again become “extra effort.” It isn’t easy. It is worth it. I will do it. I look forward to re-building the habit and reaping the rewards.

Healthy new habits are like that. We start out with energy and focus. We are motivated by novelty and early success. We establish a routine, and it becomes easier. Then something interrupts the pattern, and we revert to earlier habits that don’t serve as well. Gym membership lapses. Fruits and veggies disappear. Fast food creeps back in.

Maybe it is travel. Maybe it is soccer season. A string of back-to-back company. A change at work. A bad cold. Something will disrupt our new routine. It is inevitable. Get used to it. Our response, however, is not inevitable.
It is easy to lose heart. The hard work of losing 20 pounds or building up to a 10K run, dedicating time for reflection or meeting weekly with a friend now seems to be lost. How can we take heart to start again when good habits seem so fragile?

“Progress requires only that we get up one more time than we fall down.” (Anon.) How do you deal with setbacks? Do you accept them as inevitable, and develop strategies to apply when the time comes? Or do you treat them as failures, evidence that progress is hopeless, and use them as an excuse to give up? The answer to that question makes all the difference.

Until the next time, go well.

Pam